End of 2018

We have reached the end of another year!
And I am downright miserable.
Nothing seems to help with that.
I haven’t seen my kids since the
end of August because I am not in a good place.
I am in a constant fight with suicidal
thoughts and feelings.
I am to the point where I dream about dying!

Maybe 2019 is the year I seek help and follow
through with it, As I can’t do this anymore.
I haven’t talked to my family in months.
I just stay in my apartment which I don’t
leave unless I absolutely have to.
Sadly I don’t want to be alive, however,
I can’t do anything about it.

I know everyone is worried about me and
honestly, I am also worried about myself!

It’s amazing how these songs are how I feel!

So yea maybe 2019 will be better
but I’m not optimistic!

I’m ending the post with I am seriously considering checking
into the hospital on Wednesday, Jan 2nd for help!

This is one of the more personal posts I’ve done!
In writing this I have realized I am definitely not a writer!