Monthly Archives: April 2017


My Apology

Sweetie I love you!!!

And I am truly sorry for putting you through hell for so long… Please read the following!!!

For people who don’t know anything about the last 5 years what is below might surprise and hurt you but please keep in mind I was recently diagnosed with a mental illness called borderline personality disorder AKA BPD..

I Am NOT JUSTIFYING OR MAKING EXCUSES FOR MY ACTIONS BUT EXPLAINING!!!!

For those of you who do not know what BPD is just Google it!!!!!

No women should ever have to fear there significant other… They should not have to be afraid of the person that says I love you!!!

I know I would never want my daughter to be in that kind of relationship and I know damn well if my son ever raised his hand to any female I would be pissed!!!!!! Furthermore I would probably kick his ass around the planet!!!!!

I understand I have made a lot of mistakes and made a lot of empty promises..

But there I a huge difference this time.

I am actually getting help and making huge changes for myself.. I am working on destroying the person I have been for 5 years..

And making sure that person never ever comes back!!!!

I have so much guilt and so many regrets.. Not being truly there during your pregnancy with Mason and not attending his first birthday.. Not being there for you when you were crying yourself to sleep… Not even noticing you were in pain.. And not listening to you and how you were upset.. Just not being there for you when you were always there for me… Always making sure I was ok and doing anything and everything to make me happy!!! From this day forward I am there for you… You will never shed a tear again because of me!

Never will words or hands be used against you never again!!!!! I don’t care how angry I am!!!!

I love you with every fiber of my being!!!

I love you with all my heart and soul!!!!

I take full blame for my actions!!!!!!!

I hurt the people I love…

The people I choose as my family…

Sweetie I would love nothing more than to put another ring on your finger someday!!!!!

Please truly forgive me for the past 5 years

Knowing that it will never ever happen again!!!!

I choose this family and I destroyed this family by not listening to the people I love!!!

I am listening now….

I would and will do anything to put my family back together!!!!! If that’s even possible???

I love you guys so much!!! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

And I can’t forgive myself!!